(Posted by a friend, if you have any grief or know of anyone with it, please share, this is a great article, please read even if you are not going thru it, as one day you will, and if you remember this, I think it will help 😉 )
“My friend just died, I don’t know what to do”
“Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. and if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.
As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage, and you hang onto it for awhile. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For awhile, all you can do is float. STAY ALIVE.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you with out mercy. They come in 10 seconds apart, and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After awhile, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything….and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is LIFE.
Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. or 50 feet tall. and while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, and for the most part, you can prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.
Take it from an old guy, the waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves…..and lots of shipwrecks.”
60 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE ROCK!
1. PRAY TOGETHER ALWAYS
2. READ THE SCRIPTURES TOGETHER ALWAYS
3. Go on regular date nights
4. Hide notes in secret places
5. Go to bed at the same time
6. Listen to music together-share ear-buds
7. Buy him gifts he will love
8. Revitalize the romance with intimate dates
9. Wear shirts that tell the world you love your spouse
10. Praise your spouse to other people
11. Read a marriage devotional
12. Sleep in his t-shirts
13. Renew your vows privately with whispers and memories
14. Renew them publicly with cake and bubbly
15. Go away together at least once a year
16. Hang pictures of the two of you around your house
17. Make his favorite dessert
18. Make sex a priority
19. Spend time apart occasionally
20. Learn to enjoy something he loves
21. Surprise each other
22. Meet him at the door
23. Text each other from across the room
24. Set reminders on your phone to remember him/her throughout the week
25. Call him right now and tell him you appreciate himFor Men Only
26. Leave work on time and come home early
27. Engage every day in meaningful conversation
28. Compliment each other
29. Take one day a month to make your spouse your total focus
30. Argue fair: avoid these words “you always” and “you never”
31. Kiss every day
32. Find tangible ways to serve your mate without complaining
33. Forgive quickly
34. Be honest.
35. Get on the same page: plan your budget together
36. Look your best as often as you can
37. Guard your marriage
38. Laugh together
39. When you are together-BE TOGETHER (take a break from phones, technology, etc)
40. Tell her she’s pretty, especially when she’s not feeling it
41. Make each other breakfast in bed
42. Do her chores for her
44. Get a couple’s massage or host your own privately
44. Dance together-soft music (both of you alone) or rocking music with the kids
45. Exercise together- hikes, bike riding, etc
46. Choose not to be annoyed by an irritating behavior/disappointment from your spouse
47. Thank your spouse often even for the least reason or gesture
48. Lay in bed together and stare into each other eyes, without talking
49. Learn something new together-take an art class, cooking lessons, etc
50. Leave a sweet comment on the Facebook wall
51. Support each other’s goals
52. Bring her flowers/gifts (even when she says they are too expensive)
53. Wear something your spouse loves
54. Share furniture-sit in his lap
55. Fight for your marriage
56. Make a point to eat dinner together most days of the week.
57. Never let your spouse feel like they come second place to your career or any other thing.
58. Talk about your dreams and aspirations. Be supportive of each other and dream big together!
59. Maintain a united front as your motto: Meaning- “Me and you against the world.
60. Speak well of your spouse.
Remember your Spouse Rocks- Even when they don’t at the moment!
Today I was sitting here thinking about my business, and my clients business. I was talking to a client on the phone, and he was asking me about being able to KEEP his clients. I gave him some ideas, as usual, then got off the phone.
The more I sat and contemplated our phone conversation, the more I began to think. I thought about my anniversary, and comparing that to business….and I thought….you know – for my husband to KEEP my *business* in our marriage, he had to WORK at it over the last 16 years. He had to KEEP in TOUCH with me. Many businesses, they think that they can do the sale, take care of you whenever you call them for something, and that is it! And you will STAY FAITHFUL to being their client for 16 years! What do you think???? Do you think if my husband only took care of me when I called him for something or asked him for something – do you think I would have *stayed his client (wife)* for the past 16 years??? No! So WHY would you expect your CLIENTS to do the same???
If you want to KEEP your clients for 16 years, you need to KEEP in TOUCH with them….you can do this many ways, via email, via telephone calls, via webinars, via greeting cards, etc – There are many ways that you can keep in touch with your clients, build rapore with them, as well as give them ideas to increase their business, and just remind them who you are and say hello to them!
I heard it once, people do business with those who they know, like, and trust. Well it’s true! The thing is, after you GET your clients, you want to KEEP them don’t you? Just think about it. If you only send them your sales special once a year, and nothing else all year long, or their invoice once a year…How loyal do you think they are going to be to you? What reason would they have to stay with you – rather than go to the next person that comes along, that offers them a better deal, a better offer, a better sale, etc.
One of the things I do, is help people to KEEP in touch with their clients – all for about $5 a year per client. I can help you set up with email autoresponders to keep in touch with your clients, as well as greeting cards – we can design CUSTOM cards for your business, as well as CUSTOM campaigns for your business – where you hit CLICK – and cards are sent to your client over the next 5 months, or even 5 years, all with one click from your end. I talk to you, find out about your business, what you want to do, as well as give you ideas that I have seen be proven with other people in their business that I have already helped them with.
So you CAN KEEP your clients and customers for 16 years…..and longer…..
See some greeting cards and post cards I have done for over 600 other clients – ILoveCards.net