life

Not every mountain is worth the climb……

Define what is meaningful to YOU. Just because one coach or trainer says work 24/7 like no one else does so you can play like n one else does later…..doesn’t mean you have to, or that you are not giving it your all if you don’t.

What is meaningful to YOU?For me, my FAMILY has been #1 all my life.I started my journey back becoming self employed in 1993 when I was pregnant w our 2nd child……

Things have been rough, I have had some $10 months, some $100 some $100 months, some $10000 months (and many other numbers over the years……

But my FOCUS was and still is my FAMILY.

If you work so much that you neglect your family, you may be successful one day, but lose your family in the process…..then is that worth it?

I have heard many trainers say “treat your business like a business not a hobby” but in that some also say, if you are not working it 10-20 hours a day you are treating it like a hobby and not serious.

That is their opinion, and I disagree. This world and this life is about relationships…..Even if you are not married and don’t have kids, you still have other relationships in your life.

But everyone is different – you need to figure out what is important to you – and then yes, figure your schedule and WORK when you are working time on your schedule…..

Be PRESENT with your FAMILY and other RELATIONSHIPS when it is that time….

I have not always been perfect, and I have a workaholic mindset…..but I watch myself, and I have learned to schedule myself…..still a work in progress…..every day.

But I work consistently and productively when I am scheduled to work. that is the difference, and one of the big secrets to my success 🙂 <3

Is it true you have to get over it?

“It isn’t true that you *have* to *get over it*. It isn’t even true that you have to want to. No one else can understand what you have lost. No one else can bear the burden of your tribute to a love, to a life, to an identity now gone. What a privilege it is to feel deeply.” — Anne Lamott

When I speak on stages all over the world talking about #WeAllHaveChoices, steps in life, grief, being a widow, losing a loved one, etc….

I say this all the time….you NEVER get over it (and if you are reading this, please do not ever say this to any person….ever) ….yes if you are still breathing, there is a purpose, and you need to move forward, you need to grieve, cry, get mad, etc all those things, and you may have *triggers* the rest of your life…..It will be 7 years in two weeks or the most tragic loss of my life I never expected….then several more major losses pretty b2b after that for a few years….and I have shed many tears, and still there are *triggers* that happen that will bring back up re-living moments and tears all over again….

that is OKAY…..

Don’t ever let anyone tell you it is not! But the thing is to not *stay there*….cry, get mad, get angry, get sad, whatever the case may be….then move forward w whatever you need to do in life, business, ministry…..BREATHE, as you are breathing for a reason….find a way to help someone else, lift each other up…..life your life, find things to be grateful for, be grateful for the moments that you did have w that person, instead of focusing on the moments you will no longer get to have.

Live your life, love hard, cherish moments, celebrate memories, when that argument comes up, think about it, is it REALLY worth it? If yes, stand your ground, if not, let it go, let them be right, who cares…..treat people as if this will be the last time you will get to see them, because you never know, one of these days…..it will be <3

Reflecting…..

REFELCTING:

Many of you that know me and are closer to me, know I consistently work like 100 hours a week…..busy, can’t get into trouble, right?! haha! But keeps the mind busy, and I remember my mom used to say, “if you are awake, you are to be productive and profitable” — no lazy in our house! lol

But more this last week or so, I have always *known* to do this, but the last *while* found myself falling back into the routine of *skipping ‘me’* and just doing for everyone else…and so I have been taking more time off, granted only a little, but moments here and there for *just me*…..and it has been refreshing, and very much needed, I know….

And in that – I have reflected…..SO much has *changed through my life….I talked w a friend on my career and how 15 years ago, if you’d have told me I would be teaching and coaching others in life and business and traveling every month and speaking on stages all over the world to thousands of people, and companies and organizations would be calling me, hiring me to speak and train their employees and salespeople – I would have said you are crazy! (I was completely content w being the quiet cute little christian house wife w 4 kids and homeschooling and hiding behind my computer creating websites, branding and marketing for others and pushing them to the top) lol

Then talking to another friend, so much in my life has changed the last 5 years, many major losses, including my husband, father in law, my grand father, grandaddy-in-law, grandmother-in-law, our family dog of 13 years, my mom…..but also on the same, so many good things, getting my health back restored, my business tremendously excelling, meeting many incredible people and being able to connect others in so many incredible ways, SO many *God-winks* I cannot even begin to explain and relate, although I try to often and always try to remember to give Him the praise and glory….

When we truly *reflect* and get *out of ourselves* — many times we find we can quit focusing on the few things that *aren’t* as perfect as we want them to be yet, and be SO incredibly thankful and grateful for the many things that ARE way more than we ever thought they could be or would be………

“Does making your life better make it better for those around you? “

Michael Carnes

That is a thought, isn’t it? We connect with, and talk with, associate with, do business with people every single day! Those people that in ANY WAY connect with you, does it make THEIR life better?

SOOO many things, and esp someone who has lost a spouse/significant other in their life — this connects with SO much more….I have noticed the last 5 years, I live my life MUCH more *on purpose*

I thankfully was raised in a wonderful home, great parents, great upbringing, great sisters, grew up, great marriage, great kids, etc, tremendously blessed…..

But what about now, what about that DASH will people say about you one day, what kind of difference for GOOD are you making in the lives of OTHERS that you touch? What GOOD is it, for them to have YOU as a part of THEIR life?

Incredible things to *ponder* — don’t ya think?

Entrepreneurship

Many people all the time ask me about why I work as much as I do, and I should take a break etc…..

I absolutely LOVE what I do in ALL my businesses!

In my web/graphic design and marketing company – I help many top clients in their field, rebrand and market on the internet to reach clients and propel their business to heights they never thought they could.

In my cards company, I show people and businesses how to effectively keep in touch better and build better relationships, to many times increasing their bottom line by 25% or more within months and getting their clients to give them endless referrals without asking.

In my speaking, coaching and training – I teach people on relationship marketing, keeping in touch, copswives to live that life better and understand him, christian wives to live that life better and what they can do to help theirself, him and their kids, widows how to walk in their new shoes, homeschool mom’s how to juggle, business people on time management and mindsets, and so much more!

And I still do many other things, but I LOVE what I do, so it’s not *like* work many times, but then also, I am working NOW, like many others *won’t* — so I don’t have to worry a much *later*, when many others *will*……

It is up to you! It is your choice! We make choices every day, that will predict and set our future for us, what do you want your next 5, 10, 15, 20 years to be like? Make the changes today that will propel you to a better life tomorrow.

#WeAllHaveChoices

Happy Anniversary, from Your Widow

On this day, 24 years ago, Bryan Delk and I became husband and wife, and the 5th one that you are missing….Funny, 5 years ago, everyone told me, *one day* you’ll be able to look

back at this day and not cry, but just be thankful and grateful for the happy memories….back then, I was grateful and thankful still of course, but cried lots and lots too, and couldn’t even begin to imagine that these people that told me this were ‘sane’ in their thoughts…..Today, I can say I am more grateful for the 20 years we had, than crying, although some tears as I get flowers for your grave, but not near as many as in the past….. I remember so much, like yesterday…..

It was hot in Tennessee…. I cried some in the ceremony, but then you had look of relief on your face when I said they were tears of joy. 😉

That last 20 years, we faced many challenges but we got through all of them because through it all we loved each other and we loved God.

Today, sometimes you’ll find me crying again. I know you always hated to see me cry, but it can’t be helped sometimes….I try to remember your words you used to say always to me “I want to see you smile” and I try, I try every day, and I try to focus on the wonderful years God allowed me to have you.

The vows we took said for in sickness and in health and we did that very well, living up to those words. I am confident and happy knowing that you were mine and me yours only, for almost 20 years….The til death do us part, is the most difficult challenge of them all. I said those words without realizing what that really meant because somehow I figured it was going to be SO f

ar off in the future, we would be old and gray before we had to face that… I remember thinking and dreaming of us being in our 80’s, sitting on our front porch, and watching the grandkids playing….Well here we are, or….here I am, faced with life without you…the person I entrusted with my happiness and my soul and now you’re gone.

I am faced with the monumental task of going on with out you with the memories of the times together to see me through the days, weeks, months and years ahead.

Thank you baby for those memories and for the awesome and wonderful children we raised together. I know the road ahead will be bumpy but I know at the end of the road, you’ll be wa

iting for me with welcoming arms wide open to greet me and hug me once again one day.

I do not know how long it will take me to meander down that road, but my anniversary wish is that you are peaceful now and are not sad up there. Your gift to me has been acquired over the years….strength, courage, faithful, and a “we can do this” attitude. So, I wish you happy anniversary. I love you. I promise to always try to smile…I can still hear it in my head you telling me “I want to see you smile” – No matter what was going on, even if I was mad at you
– if you said that – you always made me smile anyway – and you knew it! 🙂

From the time we were married till he left this earth was
7,133 days
or 1019 weeks
or 171,192 hours
or 10,271,520 minutes
or 616,291,200 seconds
This is equal to exactly 19 years, 6 months, and 9 days

For our 20th anniversary, he had planned he was going to buy me an anniversary band to put on the other side of my engagement ring, to match my wedding band. And we were going to take a trip someplace special, don’t know where, but somewhere we had never been, we had thought of one of those couples resorts….

I love you more than anything, I love our wonderful kids God allowed us to have. I am very thankful God let me have you for almost 20 years. Yes, I wish it was more, lots more, never even had the thoughts of what happened….you know you think about sickness, maybe *one day*…..but never this….thought and dreamed about us being in our 80’s on our front porch in our little town, watching our grandkids run around, while we hold hands….sigh….such a pretty dream…..

I was told that one day, I will think that way, and not cry, but just think about the happy times, and be happy … I am thankful and grateful that after almost 5 years, it is more that way now…..although I still and will always love and miss you

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