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grateful

Is it true you have to get over it?

“It isn’t true that you *have* to *get over it*. It isn’t even true that you have to want to. No one else can understand what you have lost. No one else can bear the burden of your tribute to a love, to a life, to an identity now gone. What a privilege it is to feel deeply.” — Anne Lamott

When I speak on stages all over the world talking about #WeAllHaveChoices, steps in life, grief, being a widow, losing a loved one, etc….

I say this all the time….you NEVER get over it (and if you are reading this, please do not ever say this to any person….ever) ….yes if you are still breathing, there is a purpose, and you need to move forward, you need to grieve, cry, get mad, etc all those things, and you may have *triggers* the rest of your life…..It will be 7 years in two weeks or the most tragic loss of my life I never expected….then several more major losses pretty b2b after that for a few years….and I have shed many tears, and still there are *triggers* that happen that will bring back up re-living moments and tears all over again….

that is OKAY…..

Don’t ever let anyone tell you it is not! But the thing is to not *stay there*….cry, get mad, get angry, get sad, whatever the case may be….then move forward w whatever you need to do in life, business, ministry…..BREATHE, as you are breathing for a reason….find a way to help someone else, lift each other up…..life your life, find things to be grateful for, be grateful for the moments that you did have w that person, instead of focusing on the moments you will no longer get to have. 

Live your life, love hard, cherish moments, celebrate memories, when that argument comes up, think about it, is it REALLY worth it? If yes, stand your ground, if not, let it go, let them be right, who cares…..treat people as if this will be the last time you will get to see them, because you never know, one of these days…..it will be <3

Are you thankful, for everything?

Laurie Delk
Laurie Delk

This morning, the church message was about being thankful…..and considering I co-founded our non-profit Gratitude Girls, I of all people better be thankful and grateful right? 🙂 And I am…..

But, he did say one thing, I have struggled with (we can be open, raw, and honest, right? I am a real human) The Bible says in every thing, give thanks.

I believe the bible, I know the bible is true, and I DO *try* to give thanks in *every thing*….

Although sometimes when it is worded in a certain way, it is *hard*….example *write down everything that has happened to you, good or bad or indifferent* and say “God thank you for that”…..

Now granted, I DO believe that everything God *allows* into your life, you have a #choice if you #choose to use it for God or not.

Example, I do not think I could or will *ever* be *able* to say
“God, thank you for taking Bryan Delk to Heaven”.
I just can’t do it.

Now…..
I have learned to be thankful for the 2 years God allowed me to have him in my life, rather than be bitter at the next 20 that I don’t.
I have learned to be thankful for that happening and me being able to have the faith to move forward and speak to so many widows events, and God bring so many widows into my life and others introduce me to so many that I am able to help #WalkInTheirShoes and get closer to God, and be thankful in the process.
I have learned to be thankful that because of that, I was able to write my 2nd book #WeAllHaveChoices and became a #bestseller the day it was launched, and I am able to help and reach so many other women (and men) with that and bring them closer to the Lord.
I have learned to be thankful that through so many steps and changes the last almost 6 years, my life has changed so drastically, but for the good in so many ways, that I have felt that loving *protection* and *security* of my Heavenly Father saying to me “I am taking care of you in this area” — and that helps so many times, when I am praying in other areas I have not seen the answer yet….

So with that…..in case anyone has heard that message before, or struggled(s) in that same area as me…..Learn to be thankful and grateful in the areas that you *can* be thankful and grateful in, don’t beat yourself up in the areas that you are *not there yet* (frankly, I don’t know that I will ever be able to say that about my husband in that way – “I am thankful that he passed” — and who knows, maybe there is another way to word it…..BUT I CAN say – I am thankful, that *through* that situation, I HAVE had SO many #BLESSINGS in my life – that I am thankful and grateful for that have come to me.

I truly love my life….

I truly love my life.

I get to wake up every day and work with clients and people and make a difference in the world for better.

I have a wonderful family and wonderful friends.

How did you wake up this morning?

Do you wake up and take five minutes and truly be grateful and thankful for everything in your life….

or does the alarm go off and you get up and rush around and get ready for work or your day or whatever you have to entail…

and forget to take five minutes to be thankful and grateful for the things that you currently have in your life?

Everybody has trials and tribulations in their life.

The good Lord definitely knows that I have had my share of them but I try to focus every day of things that I can be thankful and grateful for.

I truly believe that as we do that we will attract more things in our life to be thankful and grateful for.

Why gratitude is good for business, year round

Instead of showing appreciation exclusively during the holidays, some businesses are building it into their day-to-day and reaping business benefits on account of it.

When Kristina Bouweiri started hosting customer appreciation lunches in 2009, she thought she was just helping a friend boost her lagging business.

Little did she know that the lunches, which have been held in posh restaurants around Washington, D.C. like The Palm and Capital Grille, would introduce her to almost 900 of her clients, giving her own business a jolt.

Bouweiri’s unexpected success is testament to the power of appreciation and gratitude in business.

“Instead of going after new business, we decided to go back to old clients and thank them, and develop relationships,” she says. For almost 20 years, her company Reston Limousine had done little or nothing to thank its almost 20,000 clients. Now, says Bouweiri, “I consider it the most important initiative that I have.”

As opposed to showing appreciation one day a year — at Thanksgiving or New Year’s or in an annual customer appreciation sale — some businesses are building it into their daily and weekly plans and policies. And they are seeing the benefits to this approach: Workers are often more engaged when they feel appreciated and customers are more likely to come back and give referrals.

“Gratitude motivates positive reciprocal behavior,” says Randy Raggio, a marketing professor at the University of Richmond. If a customer believes that a business has his best interests at heart, that customer is more inclined to develop a long-term relationship with the business.

Raggio first grew interested in gratitude in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, when the state of Louisiana ran a thank-you-for donations campaign. Many people who saw the campaign were more likely to donate or volunteer in the future, according to his research, even those who had not previously participated in that particular campaign.

A business might show their appreciation by having private sales for their best customers, by offering a few chocolates with the bill, or simply by saying thanks for your business. It needs to be genuine and it’s better if it’s not open to all.

Customer appreciation, Raggio says, usually comes in the form referring a friend, writing a positive review online, or perhaps a willingness to pay more later on.

For years, Susan Whitcomb says she has made good use of gratitude at her Fresno, Calif.-based leadership coaching business, The Academies. This year, she decided she would write a list of “10 things I’m grateful about you” for each of her four staffers, which she says she’ll give to them just before Thanksgiving. One of the notes acknowledges a colleague’s “courage to stretch,” learn to make sales calls, manage others, and her “commitment to make me look good.”

While she admits that she cannot quantify how that has helped her businesses, Whitcomb says she knows it has helped during the recession’s slowest months.

Gratitude is an effective tool largely because “it is a precursor to develop trust,” says Betsy Bugg Holloway, a marketing professor at Samford University in Birmingham, Al. And trust itself is an extremely powerful driver for loyalty, no matter the type of relationship. Just the same, gratitude is only valuable when it comes across as genuine.

“It’s not meant to be any magical formula for wealth,” says John Kralik, author of A Simple Act of Gratitude. He started writing notes in 2008, as his life and law firm were both suffering. His firm was losing money and had lost its office lease. “I was very embarrassed that I couldn’t provide the Christmas bonuses that I had always provided to my employees,” he recalls.

So he wrote appreciation notes to his staff, and sent similar notes to clients who paid their bills on time. He wrote to his children, his friends, and to lawyers who sent a client his way. Kralik says one of the lawyers wrote back to him, saying that he had no idea Kralik would want a client like that. “If you like one, I have 10 more,” the lawyer wrote.

He sees the link between the thank-you notes and his business thriving again. “As you take care of the paying clients, they pay even faster. They value you,” he says. One client’s timely check allowed his firm to relocate and pay the new rent. Others brought him more business. “When you’re feeling especially crummy, it’s a good time to sit down and write about 10 thank-you notes,” Kralik says.

Heidi Kallett had been sending out thank-you notes, but she was looking for another way to keep her stationery and gifts stores, The Dandelion Patch, going. So she and her friend, the limousine company owner, came up with what they thought would be a one-time client appreciation lunch, and invited administrative assistants at the companies that used the limousine company.

The lunches work especially well because assistants are hardly invited to special meals but often watch their bosses head off to a fancy business lunch.

“We don’t sell anything. It’s very low key. We just stand up and introduce ourselves for two minutes,” says Kallett. Then they give away door prizes and swag bags.

Bouweiri came up with a dozen other local business owners who also would be interested in meeting her clients; these partners and others now sponsor the event – and serve as “ambassadors” for the limo company in their circles.

The appreciation lunches have paid off: Last year, revenues at the company increased by 27%, mostly as a result, she says, of the client appreciation lunches, which are held about 10 times a year. Even when she raised rates 10% and added a fuel surcharge in September 2009, “customers were not batting an eyelash. We’ve created long-term lasting relationships,” she says.

“I came up with this idea because I was trying to help Heidi — and I ended up helping myself.”

Happy Anniversary, from Your Widow

On this day, 24 years ago, Bryan Delk and I became husband and wife, and the 5th one that you are missing….Funny, 5 years ago, everyone told me, *one day* you’ll be able to look

back at this day and not cry, but just be thankful and grateful for the happy memories….back then, I was grateful and thankful still of course, but cried lots and lots too, and couldn’t even begin to imagine that these people that told me this were ‘sane’ in their thoughts…..Today, I can say I am more grateful for the 20 years we had, than crying, although some tears as I get flowers for your grave, but not near as many as in the past….. I remember so much, like yesterday…..

It was hot in Tennessee…. I cried some in the ceremony, but then you had look of relief on your face when I said they were tears of joy. 😉

That last 20 years, we faced many challenges but we got through all of them because through it all we loved each other and we loved God.

Today, sometimes you’ll find me crying again. I know you always hated to see me cry, but it can’t be helped sometimes….I try to remember your words you used to say always to me “I want to see you smile” and I try, I try every day, and I try to focus on the wonderful years God allowed me to have you.

The vows we took said for in sickness and in health and we did that very well, living up to those words. I am confident and happy knowing that you were mine and me yours only, for almost 20 years….The til death do us part, is the most difficult challenge of them all. I said those words without realizing what that really meant because somehow I figured it was going to be SO f

ar off in the future, we would be old and gray before we had to face that… I remember thinking and dreaming of us being in our 80’s, sitting on our front porch, and watching the grandkids playing….Well here we are, or….here I am, faced with life without you…the person I entrusted with my happiness and my soul and now you’re gone.

I am faced with the monumental task of going on with out you with the memories of the times together to see me through the days, weeks, months and years ahead.

Thank you baby for those memories and for the awesome and wonderful children we raised together. I know the road ahead will be bumpy but I know at the end of the road, you’ll be wa

iting for me with welcoming arms wide open to greet me and hug me once again one day.

I do not know how long it will take me to meander down that road, but my anniversary wish is that you are peaceful now and are not sad up there. Your gift to me has been acquired over the years….strength, courage, faithful, and a “we can do this” attitude. So, I wish you happy anniversary. I love you. I promise to always try to smile…I can still hear it in my head you telling me “I want to see you smile” – No matter what was going on, even if I was mad at you
– if you said that – you always made me smile anyway – and you knew it! 🙂

From the time we were married till he left this earth was
7,133 days
or 1019 weeks
or 171,192 hours
or 10,271,520 minutes
or 616,291,200 seconds
This is equal to exactly 19 years, 6 months, and 9 days

For our 20th anniversary, he had planned he was going to buy me an anniversary band to put on the other side of my engagement ring, to match my wedding band. And we were going to take a trip someplace special, don’t know where, but somewhere we had never been, we had thought of one of those couples resorts….

I love you more than anything, I love our wonderful kids God allowed us to have. I am very thankful God let me have you for almost 20 years. Yes, I wish it was more, lots more, never even had the thoughts of what happened….you know you think about sickness, maybe *one day*…..but never this….thought and dreamed about us being in our 80’s on our front porch in our little town, watching our grandkids run around, while we hold hands….sigh….such a pretty dream…..

I was told that one day, I will think that way, and not cry, but just think about the happy times, and be happy … I am thankful and grateful that after almost 5 years, it is more that way now…..although I still and will always love and miss you

Guide to Staying Connected – And How Greeting Cards can help – 30 day challenge

Today’s busy schedules often leave little time for enriching people’s lives – our own included. But, carving out time to reach out to loved ones and strengthen our personal connections helps to boost our emotional well-being. Connecting with friends and family doesn’t have to take a lot of effort and it is often the simple, small gesture that has the most impact when it comes to showing someone how much you care.

Sending a greeting card is one of those simple gestures that reminds people someone is thinking about them. Making someone else feel special can also have the effect of making the sender feel good too. With all of the stress in people’s lives today, that small oasis of contentment is something we need now more than ever.

A recent survey by the Greeting Card Association found that almost 9 out of 10 Americans believe they are as close or closer to their friends and family than they were one year ago and 66% of Americans are regularly reaching out to their immediate family for love and support. Many times they are doing this, thru the simple process of sending out a greeting card in the mail.

Connecting with friends and family can occur because of a sense of obligation to recognize important life events, or it can simply result from an impulsive desire to reach out. Sometimes one person connecting with another will set off a boomerang effect of reaching out!

Imagine what an amazing thing can happen in the lives of others, if everyone decided to just *reach out* and send out cards every single day – just 1 card a day – to someone that you thought about. Just a nice, touchy/feely type card, to make someone smile.

62% of people feel inspired to send someone a card if they receive one from that person.

Follow these simple tips to stay connected with friends and family and boost your own sense of emotional well-being:

Set aside an allotted amount of time each day to reach out to others. Reaching out doesn’t take a lot of time, but it can be very meaningful to those we touch. A simple phone call, e-mail or greeting card reminds our loved ones how much we care. (Example: Just take 10 minutes every morning, not a big deal, not a huge time restraint, and easy to do, and enrich others lives – as well as yours – (contact me for details of a SIMPLE way to do this)).

Take time to reflect on what is important and of value in your life microsoft project alternative. You can start a gratitude journal and write down everything and everyone you are grateful for. Writing down things of importance help us to remember the most special personal connections. I decided to keep a journal once, and all it was, was ONCE a day, every day, I would write SOMETHING good about that day – or something good that happened in that day. It is amazing the difference it makes you feel overall.

Don’t wait for a reason to connect. Life is too short to hold back when it comes to connecting with friends and family. (And we are never promised tomorrow.) Sending a “thinking of you” or “just because” card can be one of the best ways to show someone you care.

Reflect your own personality when reaching out to loved ones. Whether it’s a romantic note on a pillow or a humorous card in the mail, connections with friends and family should showcase your own attitude and sentiment.

Hold on to your personal connections through tangible memories. One of the best ways to keep our connections top of mind is by holding on to a physical momento or keepsake. Reflecting on old letters and cards helps us to remember our most special connections.

Try it for 30 days – and let me know how this project has enriched your life – I guarantee you – you will never be the same, and you will never stop. Just take 10 min each day, for 30 days, and in that 10 min, make a phone call, write an email, or better yet, send out a card to someone. Just to tell them, thank you, you were thinking about them, you love them, they did a great job, etc. Anything, prompt yourself to think of ONE person a day to do this for. If you want an EASY way to do it with the greeting cards, contact me. But either way – please do it – and share your results with me after 30 days.

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