On this day, 24 years ago, Bryan Delk and I became husband and wife, and the 5th one that you are missing….Funny, 5 years ago, everyone told me, *one day* you’ll be able to look
back at this day and not cry, but just be thankful and grateful for the happy memories….back then, I was grateful and thankful still of course, but cried lots and lots too, and couldn’t even begin to imagine that these people that told me this were ‘sane’ in their thoughts…..Today, I can say I am more grateful for the 20 years we had, than crying, although some tears as I get flowers for your grave, but not near as many as in the past….. I remember so much, like yesterday…..
It was hot in Tennessee…. I cried some in the ceremony, but then you had look of relief on your face when I said they were tears of joy. 
😉
That last 20 years, we faced many challenges but we got through all of them because through it all we loved each other and we loved God.
Today, sometimes you’ll find me crying again. I know you always hated to see me cry, but it can’t be helped sometimes….I try to remember your words you used to say always to me “I want to see you smile” and I try, I try every day, and I try to focus on the wonderful years God allowed me to have you.
The vows we took said for in sickness and in health and we did that very well, living up to those words. I am confident and happy knowing that you were mine and me yours only, for almost 20 years….The til death do us part, is the most difficult challenge of them all. I said those words without realizing what that really meant because somehow I figured it was going to be SO f
ar off in the future, we would be old and gray before we had to face that… I remember thinking and dreaming of us being in our 80’s, sitting on our front porch, and watching the grandkids playing….Well here we are, or….here I am, faced with life without you…the person I entrusted with my happiness and my soul and now you’re gone.
I am faced with the monumental task of going on with out you with the memories of the times together to see me through the days, weeks, months and years ahead.
Thank you baby for those memories and for the awesome and wonderful children we raised together. I know the road ahead will be bumpy but I know at the end of the road, you’ll be wa
iting for me with welcoming arms wide open to greet me and hug me once again one day.
I do not know how long it will take me to meander down that road, but my anniversary wish is that you are peaceful now and are not sad up there. Your gift to me has been acquired over the years….strength, courage, faithful, and a “we can do this” attitude. So, I wish you happy anniversary. I love you. I promise to always try to smile…I can still hear it in my head you telling me “I want to see you smile” – No matter what was going on, even if I was mad at you
– if you said that – you always made me smile anyway – and you knew it! 
🙂
From the time we were married till he left this earth was
7,133 days
or 1019 weeks
or 171,192 hours
or 10,271,520 minutes
or 616,291,200 seconds
This is equal to exactly 19 years, 6 months, and 9 days
For our 20th anniversary, he had planned he was going to buy me an anniversary band to put on the other side of my engagement ring, to match my wedding band. And we were going to take a trip someplace special, don’t know where, but somewhere we had never been, we had thought of one of those couples resorts….
I love you more than anything, I love our wonderful kids God allowed us to have. I am very thankful God let me have you for almost 20 years. Yes, I wish it was more, lots more, never even had the thoughts of what happened….you know you think about sickness, maybe *one day*…..but never this….thought and dreamed about us being in our 80’s on our front porch in our little town, watching our grandkids run around, while we hold hands….sigh….such a pretty dream…..
I was told that one day, I will think that way, and not cry, but just think about the happy times, and be happy … I am thankful and grateful that after almost 5 years, it is more that way now…..although I still and will always love and miss you 